


Backstage

by quartile



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (recognize any?), Experimental, Fourth Wall, Gen, Inspired by Fanfiction, Metafiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 17:51:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7767442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartile/pseuds/quartile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>They are never not watching. They are insatiable.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Scenes from a documentary. Rating is for one brief description of a sex act.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Backstage

_\- Can they see us?_

_\- Always. They are never not watching. They are insatiable._

A wall of glass rectangles, small, medium, and large. Some dark, but most are glimmering. Text scrolls endlessly up the screens.

_\- They're watching us now._

\--

Interview #1: JC

Interviewer: They’ve kept you busy since the early days. 

JC: I’ve had steady work, I suppose. Background roles. Usually in the kitchen. I guess I’m grateful.

Int.: I don’t...

JC: You don’t see a problem with that.

Int.: Well...

JC: Nobody does. Good old Jane’s baking up a storm again, she just can’t wait to feed the world. “You loved her as Nannasprite, now read her as Young Nanna and Slightly Older But Still Nanna-esque Nanna.” Like it’s somehow on me to be a one-woman emotional labor union.

Int.: But there’s a demand for it, isn’t there? People need your special kind of comfort.

JC: You want to talk about special comfort? Listen. Once – did you know this? did you even check the archives? – I got to be wrist-deep in this sexy troll’s nook after she kicked my ass in fight club. She was built like an amazon and I made her weep. Bet you weren’t expecting _that_ from good old gutsy Jane.

Int.: You want more... um, adult scenes?

JC: I’d kill for more scenes like that. You’d better believe this pony knows more than one trick. But instead? I run a bakery, a cafe, a goddamn candy store. [She looks upward, gritting her teeth and drawing a deep breath, then back.] And they make me hold hands with my dad. I’m 19, for fuck’s sake.

\--

[Scene: backlot. DS is doing stretches: triceps, lateral flexion, quads. KV is running through articulation exercises.]

KV: Fifty-five feculent, feeble fucking failures. Fifty-five feculent, feeble fucking failures. Nookstain. Nook. Stain. Nookstain. Ahhhhh. Oooohhh. Eeeeee. Nnnnah, nah, nah. Llllah, lah, lah.

\--

Interview #2: TN

TN: It's, um, an interesting profession. I'm really glad I got the call. I've met some great people. Some of us meet up and play Pokemon Go after work. That's really fun. 

Interviewer: Do you find that using a wheelchair means you're only considered for certain kinds of roles?

TN: I can see where you'd think so. But I don’t always use it, and actually, the chair isn't the biggest issue. What ends up happening is people remember that I talk sort of slowly? Like, I hesitate. And it's easy to conclude that that means I'm not confident, or that I'm slow intellectually. But I've had some very demanding roles. I’ve been a rapper, a counselor for troubled kids. Anything like that, I love. It's fun tipping people's expectations over.

Int.: Favorite role?

TN [blushes]: I don't know if I want to say. [Pauses. He's smiling.] There was one where I was, um, participating in a certain line of entertainment work? Dave Strider was in that one. I was so intimidated at first.

Int.: Why's that?

TN: Have you seen him? [Looks away, grinning. Recovers and turns back to the interviewer.] But it was, it ended up being a really good experience. I learned a lot from him about the business. We cracked a lot of jokes in between paragraphs. He's a big nerd in person, a really good guy. We're still in touch.

Int.: Have you ever wanted to play the villain? Like, Captain Claw instead of Pupa Pan?

TN [pauses]: Hmm. That isn't really... a thing I ever considered. But, maybe? I guess I'd rather play the roles where I get to be kind.

\--

_\- That lurker isn’t like the others._

_\- That’s not a lurker._

Words are highlighted, overwritten, deleted. Entire paragraphs vanish, only to reappear elsewhere. Random keyboard mashings spit across the screen and are as abruptly erased.

_\- They cannot help it. They are compelled to remix, remake. They are the fictors._

\--

Interview #3: GM

Interviewer: You’re the only trained thespian on the team, is that right?

GM: That’s correct. Three years at the Imperial Conservatory. I had several marquee roles before I got the call.

Int.: Your character typically travels a particular kind of road, walks a very particular line of sober fury.

GM [pensive]: Sober fury. I like that. It has been, shall we say, a very special challenge. It can be gory. It is always intense. Emotional. And the syntax with which I communicate is, as you know, quite whimsical. It takes some work to strike the right tone. I do find I need quite a lot of downtime afterward.

Int.: Other roles you'd like to play?

GM: Let me see. I am certain I would be a marvelous Richard III. Or perhaps Hamlet. Yes. I’d make a splendid mad prince. Every actor worth his salt wants a shot at the Bard.

Int.: Oh, the Bard. That's lovely, that's very good.

GM [blankly]: I beg your pardon?

Int.: You know, bard. Like you? Your class?

GM [gazing into the middle distance]: I should also like to play Tinky Winky.

\--

Interview #4: DS, KV

DS: We've gotten to work together a lot.

KV: Quite a lot. Like, I haven't had a day off from this asshole in I don't know how long.

DS: Most days, we’re going nonstop from 6 in the evening to 4 or 5 the next morning. The work just keeps coming at us like those little sushi boats at a Japanese buffet. No time to blend wasabi into your soy sauce, it’s a maki armada, grab your chopsticks and take them down. 

KV: God, some days just do not fucking end. Two or three meteor scenes, a high school AU, a daycare AU... 

DS: There was even, like, a few chapters of a dragons and daemons mashup? That was fun. Different.

KV: You really owned that one.

DS: Aw, thanks, man. We had a good time with it. But yeah, exhausting.

Interviewer: What happens when you're handed a script and you just say, “This isn't me, I'd never say or do” whatever it is?

DS: The OOC scripts are kind of fun, surprisingly. It can be a nice break from having to improvise ironic comebacks all the time. 

KV: Same here. I'm outspoken, this is not news to anyone, but "shout your way through this script" - it blows out your vocal cords. Or, "I can't figure out how to un-capslock this keyboard." I grew up with the technology. How incompetent do they think I am? 

DS: I think sometimes there are ways to express yourself in character that don't resort to the usual tricks.

Int.: Isn't that why they come to see you, though? Why they come to read your stories?

[KV takes a drag off his cigarette. DS reaches over and takes it, puts it to his lips, and inhales.]

KV: I guess it's flattering. When you put it like that. That the readers like you because of how they first got to know you, and they want more of you doing you. Ultimately it's flattering to us, and to Mr. H. too, of course. But you know? People change.

Int.: Do you think they'll ever pair you two with different people? Like, split you up?

[DS and KV exchange a look. They burst out laughing.]

[Voice over the PA] Mr. Strider to Lot 3, Mr. Vantas to Lot 3, please, for "Loving the Alien." Mr. Strider and Mr. Vantas to Lot 3. Thank you.

DS [still laughing, coughing a little]: Okay. Okay. Hoo boy. Wow.

KV: Yeah. Sorry, we've got to get back to it.

DS: I gotta stop by wardrobe first. See you there, man.

KV: See you there.


End file.
